staple it together !

g’day, mates!

well, today was a sort of boring, elongated, same old same old kind of day. It seemed to drag on forever. if only i could appreciate how long my days feel, because time is useful! BUT school is something of an obstruction in my way. I know, i know… school is essential. school is necessary and gets you places. yes. well, maybe. but GOSH. i’m practically having a nervous break down over here. the class i mentioned in my previous post is the one i’m going to rant about today too. AMERICAN FRIGGEN HISTORY. yup. and it sucks. nothing i do seems to be right. i can never get my teacher to say, “yeah, janna you got it. right answer. bing bing bing.” it’s always me asking ever so politely ,”is what i wrote correct?” or something to that extent… and instead of my teacher kindly trying to help me like he’s SUPPOSED TO DO he makes a remark, with snide tone to it, or shakes his head (meaning “no, janna”) with a ridiculous”you’re so stupid” look on his face. and OH MAN…do i ever hope he doesn’t have a blog.

i’m frustrated about that class to the point where i feel nauseated whenever i think about it. when i wake up in the morning, i dread my school day because of that class. nothing i do is right, yet i study, i try my best, and i’m confident after doing my homework that i got it good, and i did it right. but no. NO. NONONONO. BLAHHHH. i actually got the shakes today while i was sitting in class. i felt nervous and anxious. while i was doing my history homework i got tears in my eyes just thinking about taking it to the teacher and him telling me it’s all wrong again. this is my second time doing this same assignment, and while i got all my information from our text book, it still happens to be wrong. i don’t know. maybe he doesn’t like me. but PAHHHH..it’s just so bad. i booked a guidance appointment twice now, just BEGGING my councellor to let me drop the course. i begged. with my hands clasped and me sitting on the edge of my chair leaning forward literally saying, “please, oh please oh please let me drop this class. please please please ( X infinity ) but guidance councellors think they know everything. they might know a lot. but i’m going to fail this class, it’s going to be on my record. HOW AM I GOING TO GET INTO COLLEGE? yeah. well, maybe i’ll just live in a trailer park instead. all because of this stupid history class.

no, i’m convinced that won’t happen. but i am simply distraught and i really don’t like american history. and i know it’s “wise” to take history because then it won’t “repeat itself” how many times have i heard that one?? well, honestly i don’t think i’m going to be in politics, i don’t think i’m going to find myself in some war against france. i can’t relate this history to any aspects of my life. what good is it? and besides, there’s people in that class that can watch out for the repitition of history for me. why do i have to do it? i can do other things, and whoever is interested can do the whole history business. whatever.

i should just be thankful for school, and feel blessed that i can learn. i am thankful for school. i love my other classes! STINKIN history.

soooo…the majority of my day was fine. not much happened. i have this friend, though, and we kind of stopped talking. i wonder if i did something to make him mad. i don’t know what it would be, but who knows!? there’s always something.

i was talking to my friends Brittany and Victoria today about how teenagers have a lot of stress in highschool and there’s constantly things coming at us. it’s so true. there’s hormones and emotions, we don’t know what to do with them. there’s family life, and so many teens have it rough in that area. it’s heartbreaking and totally disgusting the way people raise their kids. then there’s the social stuff. soooo much there. people my age shouldn’t all be crammed into one big building. there’s raging emotions and estrogen flying around. it’s wierd. THEN, there’s the actual schooling part. FLIP! the cirriculum is like university level 20 years ago. there’s a LOT to cover, and not everyone learns the same way. everyone’s different. there’s so much pressure to learn certain things, and there’s so many ways of approaching one thing…it’s just AHH!!!! then there’s just personal stuff. dealing with things that not everyone deals with. but then again, i think everyone’s connected. everyone deals with things, not everyone the same things, but there’s always more than one person with the same issue, or similar issue. it’s just a matter of relating to each other.

but life as a teenager isn’t very glamourous. i’m just extremely excited to get out of school. it’s a hell hole in my opinion.

i really didnt have a life today. kinda just floated through the halls, didnt talk much to people, and didnt really feel. except when history came along, i raged. ..that’s besides the point. i was just kind of a blob today, BUT i began a new diet. not a DIET DIET, but a healthy way of eating. i dont generally eat healthily, but now, i do. officially. starting today. i drank 9 big glasses of water. i had a salad for lunch, and after school i have an apple and an orange, and at dinner and cut my portions in half. YAY! it feels so good. now i need to keep it up and excercise. i’m hoping to walk after school as much as possible. this year is dedicated to personal growth. no dating, minimal drama, reading my bible is key, staying healthy, eating right, learning about myself, and what i’m really like in every situation, and letting God work in me, and influencing me, rather than my peers at school. i’m sticking with my good, amazing christian girlfriends who always have my back and are encouraging and just…awesome. and my family who i cannot imagine life without.

GOOD LIFE!